Depersonalization/derealization can happen to everyone every once in a while, but for people who have what is considered a “disorder,” it happens on a regular basis, usually starting in the mid teens to early adulthood. These episodes may make you feel like you are living in a dream, may distort your perception of time, space, and your own body, can cause the world around you to become more muted or more vivid. Sometimes, these episodes can be disturbing, as you may feel like you are losing your mind or are not in a place where that state is accepted. Other times, the state of mind can be a normal (or even creative) experience. 

The less that depersonalization/derealization and other reality-altering mental disorders are stigmatized, the less scary the experience of having them will be, as these neurodivergent people will be less ostracized and othered. We can all work to make this happen by accepting people’s minds as working how they work, and by questioning what it means to have a “normally functioning” mind. Is a mind only valuable if it is able to flawlessly produce? Is it only valuable if it is able to function constantly within a capitalist framework? Or is it valuable simply because it is a mind, and because that is enough? 

From the artist:
I make art based upon the location of my brain. Since I have depersonalized and derealized episodes, oftentimes my art is used to ground me in my current reality, and doesn’t always make sense to others. Additionally, since I don’t always have access to more “professional” art making materials, I oftentimes use mediums that you can find in a classroom: markers, colored pencils, water colors. These mediums are accessible to me in times of depersonalization, when I feel like I am floating in the middle of the room and do not have the time or the energy to set up acrylics or pastels.

I encouraged others in the Reed community to step inside what many see as a “different reality” through this project, the reality that myself and many others often go to. This reality is just as real as the one that everyone is aware of, but can sometimes feel out of reach to others. Through this project, everyone--neurotypical or not--creates this reality, and views themselves in their mind’s eye as opposed to the eyes of the world. All of our realities are different. All of our realities are constantly shifting. How we feel we are--the mental state in which we exist--is constantly changing. Sometimes, we revisit it. Sometimes, a single part of it remains the same forever. This reality is what we observe within our senses, within what we feel at nighttime or in the daytime, within how our face appears to others versus how it looks to ourselves. This reality is relevant to everyone, and very important to me.